Long overdue update

I wish I had all the time in the world to blog. . .

better yet, I wish I had energy to blog.

Yup. I do. So much has happened that I don't even know where to begin.

1. I'm alive.
2. But really this should be #1. . .my mom got really sick. She had kidney failure and is now on dialysis.
   
3. I'm alive.

It's been pretty hard on me, so I can only imagine what my mom must be going through. Having to give up her flexibility and be strapped to a chair for four hours every other day must be a pain. She's doing well though. She's following the doctors orders and is really trying to eat healthier. She wants to be alive. She doesn't want this to beat her. I love her for that. Because seeing my mother fight so hard for herself makes me fight for her. If she can do it, I certainly can.

I'm not gonna lie though, it gets difficult trying to manage having a full time job with 40+ hours, babysit 2 nieces 5x's a week, maintain a healthy marriage, and become my mother's health care assistant. But I do it all because I love them all. My faith in God is keeping me strong and able. I thank God for that. I really do. I also thank him for giving my mom the strength to evolve and grow from this. . .and the strength to fight on.

Bangs

I've always liked the look of bangs. Always. But I've also always been scared to try it. Scared as hell! LOL. But then, a couple days ago I decided to cut them. AND I LOVE THEM! LOL. . .I feel a tad bit weird though, but in all, I'm happy with the look :)

Bangs and photobooth... fun!

BTW, I've also been playing with photobooth, lol. . .

There are few things I want in life that God hasn't granted me...

but my biggest wish and hope is to be a mother. Now, I'm not fooling myself. . .I'm 30, and the chances of that dream coming true are slowly disappearing. However, God granted me the opportunity to be involved in these girls lives. They are my nieces C & A. . .and let me tell you. . .there is nothing I wouldn't do for them! They are my pride and joy. They make me smile and they make me cry because they are the closest thing I have to a child of my own, but also because they are awesome! They're such little people with BIG personalities. They know what they want and they are not afraid to ask for it because they know they deserve it. They know that they're perfect just the way they are. My hubby tells me that God knows why he does what he does and that he's never wrong. I trust him. I trust that he wants me to spoil these girls and teach them things that I would teach my own children. I want them to know that no matter what I love them and will always be there for them. Even if down the road God does grant me that one little wish C & A will always be my babies. Always.

Angie, Clarice, and Manuel.... my loves <3

Love,

Sandrah