A Fitting Quote From Dr. Seuss

Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss. Sorry I couldn't be at work assisting in the celebration for your birthday, but I did manage to find this quote which pretty much is fitting for my situation right now. Thank you. Enjoy your day.

Music

I've been up since late last night cleaning and dusting and cleaning and dusting. Yesterday was a good day. As good as it can get after what happened. I was feeling optimistic and energized. But then I got emotional and I haven't been able to shake that feeling. I'm really trying to keep myself busy and not make too much noise as hubby got a little sick. He's fine, just a cold. But it got me thinking of how much he means to me and how different things would be without him. I am just so darn lucky to have him in my life. I hope he feels better soon.

So in order for me not to wake him I put my iPod on and listened to music as I cleaned. I put Pandora and it immediately started playing the last station I created; which just happened to be a Whitney Houston station. I created it when she passed to remember her for her great music. Any who, the first song that started playing was "Dreaming of You" By Selena. Oh my Lord, it hit me hard. Because that is exactly what I had been doing. I'd been staying up all night since I found out and talking to God and my little sweet angel. Dreaming, I guess.



I just broke down in tears as silently as I could. At that moment I realized I'm going to have some really good days and some really low ones. Things are going to happen that are going to trigger those emotions and feelings and I'll break down. I'm okay with that. It's a part of grieving, but gosh it's a hard one.

So just when I'm sobbing and feeling my heart come out of my chest another song comes on. This song is "When you Believe" by Whitney Houston. It is beautiful. I couldn't believe how comforting it was to hear it. It was as if God and my Angel were telling me not to give up. To just believe. And soon not only will things be alright, but if I believe maybe there will be that miracle.



It could all just be a coincidence, but at this moment I'll take any little glimpse of hope that God offers me.

A Dream Garden

I feel like my posts have been oh so depressing as of late. But really as depressing as they have been my Lord have they been helpful. And now, I feel like things can only get better after everything has happened. I love my husband, family, friends, and coworkers and those strangers I've come to know through online support groups. I'm sure they'll be days in which I dread the thought of anything, but in the meantime I can't help but feel some sort of hope.

I think of all the things I like to do. I think of all the things I want to do. And I see how today may be a good day to start, resume, or continue. I love walking, hiking, biking, I want to start a garden (albeit I don't have grass), take a nice trip somewhere, resume a zumba class, my weight loss, and reorganize my home.

I don't want my life to revolve around trying to get pregnant again. I want to try again, but I don't want that to be my life. With PCOS, I have to be realistic and know that anything can happen. I have to be hopeful that things will work out in my favor, but ANYTHING can happen. So yes, I am scared and nervous. I am scared of dreaming that dream again.



But I'm not scared of creating a beautiful garden. I hate that I have no actual grass area in my house, but I think a "container garden" will be just as beautiful and mobil in the event I move anytime. It'll be a nice spot to relax and set my dreams free. It'll be alive and bloom with the seasons. It'll be just what I need. I've always wanted one too, so I'm hopeful I can do this in the next few months. Maybe this spring. It's something to look forward to.

Here are some pretty ones that have inspired me: