Goodbye 2011

I can't for the life of me believe that 2011 is leaving. I, for one, am very grateful to the year. I accomplished so many wonderful things and personally had probably one of the best years of my life. I don't ever remember feeling so accomplished.

I think I grew up a lot this year. I don't mean age wise, but mentally and emotionally. I let go of old feelings and resentments and owed up to my own choices. Choices in which at some point I thought were mistakes, but now I realize were right all along. I took back control of me as a person. For a while, I was too busy trying to please everyone and keep up with others that I was lost. I'm so glad I focused on my health. Since January of 11 I focused on my health and it's been one benefit after another. I lost 65+ lbs! That is a whole lot of weight! I regained my health.... and in turn my fertility. I feel great.... a little nauseous... but great! Now, I can't predict the future, but I sure can thank God for granting me the opportunity of becoming pregnant and carrying this new life inside of me. It's a magical feeling. A feeling I thought would never come. Not only have I managed to make myself happy, but by being happy I've managed to make those around me smile as well. My hubby for one is the happiest guy alive right now. I love him. I cannot see myself with anyone else. Not to toot my own horn, but I've inspired so many to change the way they take care of themselves. Complete strangers even. Coworkers, friends, strangers, online friends... they've all told me how I somehow inspired them to lose the weight. It's such a great feeling. And I'm glad I've been able to do something for others even while doing it for me.

This year taught me that I can do ANYTHING and achieve ANYTHING that my heart desires. I know 2012 will just be a continuation of my wonderful life. I know things will continue to blossom for me and my family. I know that with a kind heart and an open mind, and a spirit full of faith we're all able to do great things. So no, I'm not scared that it'll all end. I know. I believe that everything will be alright and that God will continue to grace me with love.

I wish you all a very, very, very happy new year! Stay focused, driven, and filled with love and faith!

Telling the Family

We did it! We told the family! I know it's early and anything can happen, but I felt like we needed to do so. When it came down to it if anything happened I'll need their support.

After doing so, we've realized we did the right thing. My mom's reaction was priceless. She was in such disbelief. I could tell how happy she was for us. My brother was so happy and my sister even cried of joy. My brother in law George hugged me and congratulated us.

The best reaction was from my two nieces. Clarice was so happy she didn't even know how to react. She came over and told me that this was her greatest wish only that she never told me. She then looked up and thanked God. Then Angie got down and kissed my belly. It was the sweetest thing ever!

I can honestly say that right this minute I am sooooo happy. I feel so blessed to have such a supportive and loving family. They are the best!

Our 9 Year Anniversary

Boy am I exhausted. And no I don't mean from being married to Manuel! I'm exhausted from all the pasta I ate at The Cheesecake Factory yesterday! I could've sworn it was after five so I asked for the wrong plate. However wrong it was... it was still delicious! It was extremely crowded there. Too crowded. I so was not expecting that. But once we got seated it wound up being a nice dinner just the two of us.

At first I kind of wanted to invite the family and have that be the moment that we broke the news to everyone, but changed my mind. Well, two reasons weighed heavily in our decision. 1. I want my baby to have his/her own special days. and 2.  My pregnancy is very delicate. Anything can happen and I don't want our anniversary to somehow remind me of anything sad. I know I shouldn't be pessimistic, but that is truly how I feel. I'm hoping for the very best... I really am. I've put all my faith in God and that he'll take really good care of my little "lucky bean."

Any who, Manuel and I had dinner and then went to the movies. It was nice. Just the two of us hanging out and celebrating nine years of marriage. It's funny because without a doubt I truly believe we are meant for each other. We make such a wonderful pair :) Neither of us is perfect, but together we complete each other. I love that about us.

I love that we can be together and tell each other exactly how we feel without feeling judged or  criticized. I know that what we have is something very special. And honestly, I can't wait to bring my little baby into our loving home. I have no doubt that we'll provide a very loving and nurturing home.

Back to Manuel and I.... after dinner we went to the movies and saw "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol". Now let me tell you I don't care much for Tom Cruise. I find him annoying and frankly am turned off by his ginormous ego. However, I loved the movie. It was fun and entertaining. I was dying to pee toward the end, but nonetheless it was worth my "pain". . .lol.

Later on, we headed back home and got a call from my sis. She was told what she was having today. Turns out she's adding a.......

GIRL to the family in May. I'm very happy for her, but found it hilarious because she swore up and down it was a boy. They really wanted a boy. She has two girls already and oh Lord, they can be drama! I love those two so much, but they're a handful! So now with the third one on the way.... eek. I'll pray for their survival. LOL... j/k. They're very happy their baby is very healthy  and so are we. I'm getting another niece!!!!

1st Prenatal Appointment

Today Manuel and I went in for our first prenatal appointment. I was so nervous and anxious. Manuel on the other hand, looked very happy to hopefully see the heartbeat. Later on, after the appointment he did confess he was scared as well. It made me realize how hard it must be for him because he has no idea what's going on internally. He really only knows what I tell him.  I'll keep that in mind and keep him more informed as we grow along. 

Overall, the appointment was pretty generic. My vitals were taken and I had to take another pregnancy tests to verify I was still preggo. Then we were taken to the room where we waited no more than 10 minutes for the doctor to come. When he did he went over all the lab work from my last appointment and all that good stuff. According to him all my bloodwork came in perfect. Nothing at all to be alarmed about. Then he did a transvaginal ultrasound. It was uncomfortable, but expected. As soon as he put the wand in we were able to see the yolk sac and some slights of flickering which he said was the heartbeat. However, he became concerned that the pregnancy looked to be only five weeks along. I, of course told him that I didn't think the initial calculation was correct because I ovulated late. We then reviewed my information and he adjusted the data accordingly. I am still a little worried though, because I thought I was 6 weeks already, so that puts me a week behind as  well. He didn't seem too worried, but scheduled a follow up ultrasound for January 12th. He said that by then we should see a huge difference. 

I have to admit, I'm scared. Pregnancy is a scary thing. A beautiful, but scary thing. I'm hopeful that I was just off and that conception occurred later than I thought. It is perfectly possible and that is why our timing is off. Seeing the screen flicker did help balance my feelings. It sure gave me hope. Hope that our little monkey is in there and beating his/her little heart away. Hopefully, in two weeks time he/she keeps growing and developing as he/she should. Please keep us in your prayers. 

Here's a little picture of what we were able to see today. 

I'm sure everything will be just fine, but again, please keep us in your prayers. A little extra prayers can only help. :)

Hope you all have a wonderful rest of 2012! I know we will definitely try to stay positive and focus only on good positive thoughts. 

Oh, by the way, with all the baby talk I forgot to mention..... tomorrow is our anniversary! Manuel and I will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary! How exciting! I'm such a lucky lady y'all! He's the most amazing, loving, thoughtful husband I could ever want. :)

Christmas

Merry Christmas y'all! Hope you all had a wonderful and joyous day with your families and loved ones. I sure did! As you know, my mom, niece, hubby, and I spent Christmas eve making tamales. Oh, it was a lot of work. But so worth it in the end. Everyone loved the tamales and ponche :).  Here's Clarice just waiting to open all the gifts...

I gotta admit I was beat. After doing the tamales I went and took a shower and changed into tights and a tshirt! Yup. I did not feel like getting dressed up at all. I didn't even put make-up on. So sad :(. . .lol... It's crazy, but I seriously just felt beat. It made me appreciate all that my mom does for us though. I mean she never stopped to rest. Not Once. I truly admire her strength because she had dialysis earlier that day and she still managed to be full of energy. Love that woman! Here she is after opening her second gift... which was some more moola. She loves to play in Vegas, so now she has some extra cash to play :)

George, my sister's hubby got her a framed portrait of two of their wedding pictures. She was happy. They're lovely. He's like Santa Claus.... his presents were on going. LOL.... cute :)

Then we have my two beautiful nieces. Clarice had already opened all her gifts while Angie was at her dad's. So we got to see her open hers Christmas night. She's so cute and in love with hippos. Any size, shape, or form.... she loves them. Here are a few new ones that she's added to her collection. Watching her play "Mama hippo" is the cutest thing ever! Little Secret: I think it would be the sweetest thing ever if my baby had a stuffed animal addiction like Angie. Maybe to little stuffed Lions :) hehehehe.

Manuel had to go to work before midnight, so we decided to change it up a bit and began opening presents at 9pm that way he didn't miss out. I really appreciate my family for taking him into consideration. He was very happy. Here he is opening one of his our gifts.... movie tickets! We love going to the movies!

This is Salvador. He's my step-dad. An awesome, kind, and giving man. My mom is very fortunate to have found him. Since my mom's kidney failure he's been the most awesome-est man ever. He got nothing but colognes from everyone. Hahahha... he loves to smell good :)

Luis, my brother got liquor. He was very happy about it. Luckily, he doesn't drive so he can enjoy his little bottle. LOL...

And finally here's George... trying out his new sweater. Fit him perfectly. 

So how was your Christmas? Did you have a big party or a small family dinner like us? Well whatever you did hope you had fun and thanked God for your meal and the memories that were made! Have an awesome rest of 2011!  eeeeeeeeeekkkkk!

P.S. Just in case you're wondering, we haven't shared the news with the family yet. It's killing me to do so, but we're going to after our appointment tomorrow. Maybe invite the family to dinner... :) How exciting! 

Just Breathe

This week has been hard for me psychologically. From watching my body go haywire to simply not feeling like myself. Luckily, I have the most loving and nurturing husband who held me and simply told me to "breathe." It actually works.

Just now he took me on a walk and I was able to do just that. I was able to see that I'm just like every other woman out there who is worried about one thing or another because ultimately we know everything is out of our control. I realized I have to have faith and trust that Diosito and La Virgensita know what they're doing. I have to believe that everything is going to be alright.

I mean seriously, I can't be stressing myself over every little thing. I'm also going to limit my goggling of things because seriously, that's a disaster waiting to happen. LOL.

Pregnancy Update-6 Weeks

How Far Along?: 6 Weeks
How Big is the Baby?: Lentil!
How Am I Feeling?: Not so hot. I'm happy about my pregnancy, but I'm definitely not feeling hot at all.
Weight?: Scared to weigh in! Yesterday was Christmas eve and we made the tamales 'member?!? Oyyy.
How I'm Changing?: I'm a hormonal mess this week. I'm tired, hungry, and bloated.
Symptoms: Still peeing a lot. My breasts are swollen and very sensitive to touch. I've been very emotional lately... full of worries, and am seeing slight signs of nausea. Not to the point of vomiting or anything like that, but have sudden moments of blehhh. One symptom that has attacked me wholeheartedly is constipation. Ughh I feel BLOATED. Pants that fit me perfectly last week feel tight around my waist and I just feel fat. I hate feeling bloated! 
Cravings: Nothing really. 
Highlights of the Week: Not a good thing...but felt bad trying on my clothes I felt very bloated. It's too soon for me to show, so I know this crap is all gas! Booo!!!
Next Doc Appointment: C'mon Tuesday, December 27th @ 330pm!!!!

Christmas Eve Tamales

What a day it's been! We woke up early and started prepping for the day long tamale making. Man, they are hard work. You gotta get EVERYTHING ready before even starting all while preparing the famous Christmas Eve Ponche. Yummm. My mouth is watering just thinking about all the yumminess that we'll be enjoying toward the end of the evening. My mom always makes the best tamales and I'll admit I never really helped. But today I actually dove right in and helped with everything and I'm beat! I was standing for hours and my back is killing me. I'm tired and all I want to do is take an eight hour nap. LOL. So right now I'm supposed to be resting, but I decided to blog about the process instead because later on I'll just be too tired to remember.... So here are some pictures of the process... Maybe next year when I'm all about I want tamales I'll remember the hard work and think about it more. lol..... But yeah, the house smells delicious! 

By the way, these are Guatemalan tamales. Yum. Yum. Yum! 

Not feeling so hot.

There. I said it. I'm so freakin' constipated it's horrible. I've always been pretty regular and since I began my pregnancy that's been haywire. Today I had a scare though. I went to the restroom to release and I somehow smelled blood so I looked down at the TP to check and low and behold there was blood there. I got so scared. I still am a bit, but they say it could be from straining to poop. Ughhh. Talk about stress. I feel horrible today. Hubby and I were supposed to go out to the movies, but now I just want to lay in bed and cry. The thought of losing my baby was too much to handle. Thank God I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday because I seriously have all these questions and concerns that I need answers to. I need to know my little monkey is okay in there. I wish I could talk to my mom or sis about these things, but I don't want to tell them yet. It's too fragile right now. Bleh. I tell ya' being pregnant is beautiful, but so so so scary at the same time. Welp. . . for now this is it. I'll try to relax myself and drink plenty of fluids and go for a walk later. I need fresh air. Maybe if I feel better we'll get to that movie date.  Poor hubby :(

Cloth Diapering

As far as I remember I've always said when I have a baby I'd like to use cloth diapers. More so because I'd always worry about where on earth all those used diapers were going. So of course the moment I found out I was "with child" lol... I decided to research my options. I remember that last time while at whole foods I found these:



They seem pretty simple and easy to use. Of course, that may change while actually doing it! Any who, aren't they adorable?

Baby Names...

Happy Tuesday y'all! Christmas is just around the corner. Personally, I can't wait! I'm so happy and feel quite blessed this year that all I could think about is my appointment next week. eeeeek.

Manuel and I continued our Christmas shopping last night. We're not done yet, but we're getting there. Any who, while in transit we began talking about baby names. I think I had mentioned previously that I liked the name Paulina Elizabeth, but the hubby quickly nixed it. He did not like Paulina at all. I just smiled and threw out other names. So one after another we talked about the pro's and con's and the reasons why we should pick whatever name and we made a decision.

Drum roll please..........

Well, if we have a girl she'll be named "Victoria Elizabeth" and if we have a boy he'll be named "Alejandro".

I love the way Victoria Elizabeth sound together. It sounds like such a strong name. We decided to stick with Elizabeth in honor of my mom. Her middle name is Elizabeth. I've always loved it. She, not so much, but she'll love it when her grandaughter is named after her...hehehe. She's just been through so much and is so strong that I had to name her after her. The name will always remind me of our struggle and our fight to conceive after 9 long years. I'm sure our daughter will love her name too.

But of course, we have to pick a boys name in the event that we're blessed with our little man. Between you and I, hubby and I think it'll be a boy.... hehehe. We decided on Alejandro in honor of my grandfather. He's been such a big part of my life that I would love my baby boy to carry his name. We're really thinking "Jorge Alejandro," but George is my sis' hubby's name and well seemed odd naming my baby after him... although it would be for my other grandfather...lol. So we're still thinking on a first name. Or we might stick with simply "Alejandro".

Any suggestions? ideas? How would you pick your kiddos names?

A Happy Spirit

I am feeling so good today. My spirit is as happy as can be :). And listening to "Play for Change" always makes me smile even bigger.

Pregnancy Update-5 Weeks!

How Far Along?: 5 Weeks!
How Big is the Baby?: Well, it's an embryo now! He/she is the size of an apple seed.
How Am I Feeling?: Thankful and full of worries...
Weight?: Zip. Zero. Nada.
How I'm Changing?: I'm being more concientious about how I spend our money. I know that in a few months we'll be having to spend on welcoming our new baby, so I'm very careful not to waste.
Symptoms: Tender, fuller, bigger breasts. I always felt my breasts were full, but omg they have grown at least a cup size already! I'm also peeing a lot. A whole lot. Other than that, nada. Which makes me worry, but then again, I may be a lucky one.
Cravings: Bean and cheese burritos. Yup, my baby is mexican! lol
Highlights of the Week: Last Monday we officially started our prenatal care. It was nice to see that this is indeed a reality. Funny how no matter how many home pregnancy tests I took I still did not believe it.
Next Doc Appointment: Tuesday, December 27th @ 330pm. I am so excited! I'm very hopeful that by then we'll be able to see our little seed developing and see the heartbeat! eeeeek!

Christmas Shopping

Manuel and I went to the Santa Monica Promenade or as it's known now the Santa Monica Place. I hadn't been there in years. It's a pretty nice little mall out in the open air. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't that perfect as it rained on us a bit. Not too bad, but enough to get my hair all in a frizz. I was hoping I'd get everyone their gifts, but that was not happening. At least I was able to get the kiddos their gifts. I'm sure they'll love 'em. Now I gotta get the rest of the family in the next 6 days. :/

Winter Vacation

Finally! The moment every teacher, administrator, and school staff member has been waiting for is here.... The long awaited Winter Vacation!

And for me it comes at a perfect time as its my first trimester and I gotta take very good care of my little monkey. So I'll be stress free for a month. My little monkey will be stronger than ever by the time I go back.

Here's to a nice and relaxing break!

Sleep and Where Are the Pregnancy Symptoms?

For about a month I hadn't been able to sleep a whole night through. Which is weird, because normally I can sleep through anything. Well, for two nights straight I have been able to stay in a deep sleep for at least 4 hours. It feels great. I'm thinking that I better enjoy it before the symptoms start kicking my butt.

On other news, I'm worrying myself to death. I'm not nauseous or tired. I should be grateful, but a large part of me thinks that's not normal. So the fact that my boobies feel extremely swollen and tender actually makes me feel somewhat okay. LOL. My nurse even specifically told me not to worry. But it's hard not to worry when we've been working on this baby for 9 years. I guess I'm looking for more proof that indeed he/she is in there. Waiting for the 27th is going to be torture! Hahahaha.... I'm such a worry wart!

UTI?

Ugghh.... since yesterday I've been feeling kinda crampy down there. I had attributed it to the pregnancy, but late last night my urinalysis results came in and it appears I may have a UTI. Normally, I'd be annoyed but not seriously concerned because well, I'd take meds, but not this time. I'm very concerned because I'm scared about how this could affect my pregnancy at such an early stage. I researched online and they say to drink 100 percent cranberry juice, lots of water, and the obvious wipe myself from front to back. I may be seeing more into it than it is, but it's just scary.

I've been drinking full glasses of the juice and let's just say thank God I'm not nauseous. That thing is horrible, but I'm feeling better. So I'm calling it the "magic juice." LOL

Signing Up For Prenatal Care

Welp. We did it. We signed up for prenatal care at Kaiser. We went in and again peed in a cup to prove that indeed I was preggers. It's funny because a part of me was very concerned that it would read negative and that I imagined all those positive tests. Luckily, I wasn't imagining. Their tests confirmed my pregnancy. Yay! The LVN marked me at 5 weeks, but based on my BBT I ovulated on cycle day 21 so that only makes me 4 weeks. I'd love to be 5 because that would mean I'm 1 week closer to seeing him/her, but 4 is just as good. :)

We were even able to get Dr. Brisinger as my OB.  He's an excellent doctor, so I'm very excited about that. I have my first appointment on December 27th. I should be around 6 weeks (7 weeks est. by LVN).  We should find out the exact weeks on the 27th.

Saying Thanks to our Virgencita

December 12th is La Virgen de Guadalupe's birthday. The hubby and I always make a date to go to the Placita Olvera here in Los Angeles to say "Happy Birthday" as well as thank her for watching over us.

This year was even more meaningful to us as we truly feel we've been blessed with a miracle. After 9 years of trying to have a baby... we just found out that in a few months a miracle baby will join our family. We're no longer going to be a couple. We're a family.

So we took the train to the Placita Olvera and made our way to the church.

And there she was in all her glory. We weren't the only ones there. The church was full of people wanted to give her thanks. Both my hubby and I got on our knees and thanked her for this blessing. I thanked her for giving me 2011. It has been an amazing year. I know 2012 will only bring me many more blessings. It was a truly spiritually moving experience for me. I couldn't contain my tears of joy. I was overwhelmed with it all.

After praying Manuel and I had a seat and remained inside the church quietly. I told him I was so happy. Of course he knew that and held me tight.

Overall, it was a beautiful day and experience. Here are some pictures of our day.

Pregnancy Apps

I use my iPhone for everything. So of course now that I'm pregnant I'm going to use it for that too :) I found quite a few apps, but so far these two have made the top charts. They're "Sprout-pregnancy essentials" and "Sprout-pregnancy journal." they are fabulous! Pregnancy Essentials is like an organizer and gives you tips and an overview of how the baby is growing. It has very good graphics displaying a 3d image of every stage. It's $3.99. Pregnancy Journal is a journal in which you type notes and thoughts. You can answer suggested questions etc. then when you're baby is here you can actually order hard cover color copy. I can't wait :)! I think it's an awesome idea! By the way, the Journal app is FREE... of course you'll have to pay for the hard cover later on :) but nonetheless, amazing!

Do you have any suggestions? Ideas? Tips for this first time mama to be?

Big Fat Positive!

Yay!!!!!! I'm living the happiest moment of my life right now :) I can't even begin to put into words the amount of happiness peeing on a stick has brought me. As I stated in my previous post I wanted to wait until today. Well, low and behold at exactly 12:30 a.m. I had to wake up to pee.... and I thought... ahhh let's do this... and I did...and there came that second line within seconds. Isn't it amazing? LOL.. It's amazing to us. I can't stop smiling now :)

Now since I began getting positives with the other test I'm counting 10DPO as my first BFP. :)

Could it be?

Over thanksgiving break I purchased some cheap pregnancy strips from online. The reviews were awesome so I thought, I don't lose anything by trying them out. Well, I've done just that and on Wednesday I got what I thought looked like a possible positive... But I still wasn't sure and I've tested everyday since... And today I got this. It's faint, but it's gotten darker... And it's there! On fertility friend they are calling this a positive, but I'm still not 100% sold. So today we got the First Response Kit.... And I'm sooooo scared to test. So scared! I'm gonna wait for tomorrow. I'm praying to God that the 2nd line shows. As they say, "a line is a line." So I ask of you if you have a minute to pray for us and wish us luck and health. It's been 9 years of trying... Nine years y'all!

Thanks!

6DPO

'

I'm so anxious to test! Sadly, it's way too soon to tell. Experts also don't recommend testing as it is possible to get a positive and then have the egg not implant properly. Therefore, giving me a "chemical pregnancy". Which would just be too much to handle right now. But let me tell you about my boobs... They hurt! Since ovulation the soreness has been pretty bad. On Thursday it wasn't so bad, but yesterday I thought they were gonna fall off! LOL... then this morning they were pretty normal and now again the soreness is here. They say it's because of the progesterone hormone. I'm just not used to the soreness because with PCOS I hardly ever experienced a menstrual cycle. And now that my body is going through it it's different. I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me, but usually around 9'ish I get VERY hungry. Even my stomach starts growling. That's even having breakfast. That's weird for me. I've noticed I'm pretty intolerable to smells too. Like last time we went to eat and I could smell the pinesol in the floor and it made me sick. I'm also unable to stand the scent of a coworker's perfume. I mentioned it to my other coworker and she said she didn't smell it at all. I'm cold ALL the time. And if not cold, I feel like I'm running a fever.... I'm waking up every hour on the hour to pee during the night. In the day I'm pretty capable of holding it, but at night I go. I'm starting to think I'm crazy here... I know it's too soon for pregnancy symptoms. But luckily I'm not moody (well except once). I think it's because I'm excited, so I try not to let things get to me. I'm trying to think positive and hoping for the best. But I know that things may also not happen. I won't lie and say it won't be sad and I totally think I'll probably cry, but if Aunt Flo shows up I will try to see it as another chance... a chance I hardly ever got before. This was honestly the 3rd time I ovulated in the last 4 months. Which is awesome as before I'd only ovulate 1-2 times a year and didn't even know when at that. I know this is gonna happen for us. Fingers crossed :)